


Who Can Turn My Fevered Thoughts?

by TerraCody



Series: The Night Before the Decisive Battle [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Comfort/Angst, F/M, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Black Eagles Route Spoilers, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions/Golden Deer Joint Route, First Kiss, Headcanon, Love Confessions, Marriage Proposal, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:42:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TerraCody/pseuds/TerraCody
Summary: Sequel to The Call of Life. She has newfound confidence and love for herself, but in learning how to love herself Marianne has discovered the love she feels for other people. Most especially for one specific person. The new issue now however is conveying the love she now feels for the man she does not know the feelings of.Spoilers for the Paralogues Retribution and Forgotten Hero.
Relationships: Ferdinand von Aegir/Marianne von Edmund
Series: The Night Before the Decisive Battle [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1841431
Kudos: 6





	Who Can Turn My Fevered Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> Fire Emblem: Three Houses and its characters are the property of Intelligent Systems, Koei Tecmo, and Nintendo. Well I’ve written a lot of smut recently so I decided to write some angsty fluff. I just love Marianne’s character. She’s very relatable and she’s such a sweetheart. She was the second character I romanced with a Male Byleth (the first being Edelgard) mainly because I wanted to make sure that this poor girl was ensured a happy ending. Then I paired her with Ferdinand and my love for both characters increased considerably because of their Support chain. But you heard enough about how much I love this pairing in The Call of Life.
> 
> Also, everything that I wrote about Ferdinand’s family (particularly his mother) is fanon. It’s just conclusions I drew about his family dynamic based on events in the game. Of course if it’s revealed otherwise in canon then I’ll have to overhaul this story LOL.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story.

_19th of the Harpspring Moon, Imperial Year 1186_

_Ferdinand didn’t come to the War Table again today._

Marianne von Edmund paused in brushing Dorte and closed her eyes. She hugged the brush to her chest and rested her forehead against Dorte’s side. She frowned deeply as she turned her head against the horse’s fur. When she opened her eyes she saw Dara, Ferdinand’s horse, standing in its stall across from Dorte’s stall. “What can I do?” Her tone was barely above a whisper.

She had been selected for the mission two days prior by Professor Byleth to go Hyrm territory with Ferdinand von Aegir and Lysithea von Ordelia to followed rumors about the whereabouts of Ferdiannd’s father, Ludwig. Ferdinand’s father had not been a good man (something that Ferdinand himself had said) but he still held onto hope that his father was alive.

_”And after I went to all the trouble of killing that noble and stealing his treasure...”_

The statement of a dying rogue dashed all of their hopes away. Ferdinand had grabbed the rogue by his collar, shaking him and shouting in his face demanding to know what he did to Ludwig, but the dead man had no further words to say. Ferdinand dropped the rogue and pressed his hands to his face as he burst into tears. He was sobbing so loudly and openly; his public outpouring of grief startling Marianne so strongly that she was left standing there gaping at him from a distance. She felt absolutely horrible that she had no reaction to his grief but to stand there frozen in stock, and she couldn’t take solace that their comrades were equally shocked. Professor Byleth however moved quickly, rushing to his side and putting an arm around his shoulders. She quickly guided him towards Dara, and moments later Lysithea had reached them and walked with them. Marianne couldn’t hear what Lysithea and the Professor were telling him, but she heard his sobs tamper off as they spoke to him.

Marianne left Dorte’s side and walked over to Dara. She stroked the horse’s nose comfortingly. “You must be concerned about him too,” she murmured. “It had to have been frightening, seeing him so upset. But there is only so much you can do for him when you cannot convey your concern for him...”

Dara stared back at Marianne in silence. She did not shift or snort. But Marianne saw the compassion in her eyes and she nodded. “Ferdinand...he said that he did not like his father, but he surely loved him. The fact that he’s not left his room since we got back shows that he is grieving.” Marianne shook her head. “But—But I do not know how to make him feel better. I have never given anyone comfort before...”

She hadn’t felt this worried about Ferdinand in a long time. When Garreg Mach fell Margrave Edmund was there with soldiers of their House to get her home safely. Her adopted father kept her safe and sound away from the war, but still gave him assistance during the spectacular collapse of the Leicester Alliance’s government when some Houses sided with Claude and the other Houses sided with the Empire. She had worried for her friends, prayed for the return of Professor Byleth, and mourned when Prince Dimitri was announced as having been executed (which thankfully was false).

 _So many people are gone now...why could it not have been me instead of them?_ She had been unable to help herself from thinking this horrid thought from time to time.

During this time Ferdinand came to Marianne’s mind every now and then. With the rise of Emperor Edelgard and the outbreak of war, Ferdinand had suffered a perilous fate. Once the next Prime Minister of the Empire, overnight House Aegir lost everything. Their titles and their lands were all seized by the Crown. Ferdinand was left destitute and on a run as a fugitive of the Empire with only a handful of extremely loyal soldiers who now served him in his Aegir Astral Knights battalion. Ferdinand was never someone she could speak to easily, but she remembered his kindness towards her and the wonderful gifts he had bestowed upon her as repayment for saving his life. The stuffed teddy he gave her was currently sitting on her desk in her room. She had taken considerable care of her flower bouquet until the lilies of the valley inevitably wilted. And she carried the handkerchief he had given her until it fell apart from overuse. 

_Dear Goddess, please keep Ferdinand safe. I would trade my life if it meant that he could live..._

Marianne did not know why she prayed so hard for his safety when she had felt so uncomfortable around him, but since they all reunited back at the Monastery she noticed that she was not so uncomfortable around him anymore. She liked his company. And now she desperately wanted to help him the way that he had helped her. So many of her friends and comrades had little patience for her disposition. Ferdinand had been brash with her at first, but despite outright telling him to leave her alone he instead adjusted his approach towards her. He had changed his tone of voice when talking to her, but he still spoke with confidence. She had found that his confidence no longer overwhelmed her but instead _inspired_ her to feel more confidant about herself.

_“Well, each person is born with a purpose. We must fulfill that purpose, no matter our circumstances. It imbues our lives with meaning and direction. That is what I believe, anyway.”_

Ferdinand had said that to her with his usual unabashed confidence, and it had lifted her spirits to think that she did indeed have a chance to better herself. Especially to give her such comfort and confidence when his own position in life had degraded so considerably. The fact that she did not know how to do the same for him made her feel awful and sick.

_Dear Goddess. Please help me to help him..._

”Marianne?”

Marianne’s head snapped up and she quickly turned around. She flushed darkly when she saw Ferdinand standing at the door to Dara’s stall. “I...I...” she was so startled to see him that she couldn’t think of anything to say. _Wha...Did he hear everything I said to Dara?_

”I apologize for frightening you,” Ferdinand said, raising his hands slightly. “I was only seeking to take my horse for a ride. I believe I need to get away from the Monastery for a little while and have a change of scenery.”

”O-Of course,” Marianne said, her tone quiet as usual as she moved past him. She ducked her head so that she didn’t look up into his face. “Dara, she...I am certain she will enjoy your company.”

”I appreciate hearing you say that, Marianne. And I thank you for looking in on her.”

Marianne nodded, but found herself blurting out, “I!”

Ferdinand flinched away from her, gasping in surprise. “I-Is something wrong?”

Marianne ducked her head lower, and raised a hand slightly to cover her face. “I...May I join you on your ride?”

Ferdinand did not respond right away, and because she was desperately trying to hide her expression from him she couldn’t see his face. Marianne felt the sliver of courage she had quickly dissolve, and she shook her head. “I-I’m sorry. I should not have imposed on you. I—” she started slightly when she felt a hand touch her elbow gently. She opened her eyes finally, but couldn’t bring herself to turn around.

”Marianne.” Ferdinand’s tone was low and gentle, and hearing it made her heart pound harder. “I would be delighted to have you join me for a ride.”

Hearing his acceptance immediately lifted her spirits, and she nodded with conviction. “Right! Then...Then I’ll go saddle up Dorte! I’ll let you know when I am ready!”

”I will do the same.”

Marianne hurried back over to Dorte to get him ready for the ride. He seemed to sense by Marianne’s demeanor that they were going for a ride and he huffed his enthusiasm. She was happy to be spending time with Ferdinand, but...but at the same time she couldn’t suppress the knots of worry that formed in her stomach.

_Ferdinand...if he want to ride with me, then he surely wants to talk to me about his father. If he does...then what am I supposed to say back? How am I supposed to react?_

* * *

Marianne let Ferdinand and Dara lead the way. She almost thought that he was guiding them towards the Outskirts, but instead he steered them north. Dara was galloping so quickly that it almost seemed like Ferdinand was _fleeing_ Garreg Mach. But Dorte was also a quick horse that did not tire easily, and so Marianne was able to keep up with them.

When Ferdinand finally slowed down, Marianne was in awe of their surroundings. It was an expansive flower meadow, quiet except for the warm breeze that swept over the grass and flowers. _I can see why he wanted to come here. This place looks like a haven blessed by the Goddess._

Ferdinand steered Dara towards a stream and slid off her back as she bent to drink. He walked back towards Marianne and she flushed as she realized that he was going to help her off Dorte. She swallowed thickly and tried to relax as he came to her side. “Here, let me help you.” Marianne accepted his hand, and he used his free arm to help her slide out of the saddle. 

They left the horses to drink, and Marianne knew from experience that she did not have to tie Dorte up because he wouldn’t wander far away. Ferdinand beckoned her over to a small hill, and she brightened when she saw a bed of lily of the valley at the bottom of the hill. “Oh,” she said with delight. “That’s nice. I didn’t realize they were still in bloom.”

”This place is peaceful and seems to have its own magic,” Ferdinand said as he sat down. Marianne sat down to his right. “I like to think that this meadow has the Goddess’s blessing.”

Marianne stared at him stunned for a moment, her heartbeat quickening. “I...I thought the same.”

Ferdinand smiled at her and then looked away. Marianne turned her gaze back to the flowerbed below them and didn’t say anything. They sat in silence for a long time, and Marianne felt awkward for not knowing what to say. _Does he want to talk about his father? Or some other topic? I do not know what to say to him. I’m afraid with whatever I say it will only upset him._ She idly glanced at his riding boots. _Those...looks worn. When was the last time he got a new pair of boots for himself?_

”I feel look like the fool,” Ferdinand said, startling Marianne by breaking the silence between them. “Hiding like I have been. I probably should not give my father another moment’s thought after everything that he did, but it is not so easy to simply push him from my mind. I did not like or respect him as a person, but I loved him. That is quite strange, is it not?”

”I-I do not think so,” Marianne said quietly. “He was your family, so loving him is a natural feeling.”

“That is a good point, but I nonetheless feel foolish for grieving for him. My father, he...” Ferdinand paused briefly, and curled up his right leg. He rested his arm on top of his leg. “He had a cruelty to him. He never showed it to me—I was his pride and joy—but I saw how he dealt his cruelty to other people. Cold, calculating words and brutal actions; I believe I may have been the only one safe from his wrath. Servants, commoners...even my own mother suffered from him.” Ferdinand smiled faintly. “My mother’s name was Tatiana. It is a beautiful name, is it not?”

Marianne nodded. “I agree.”

”Father and Mother had an arranged marriage as noble houses are wont to do, but Father, he...he was deceived into his marriage.”

”Deceived?”

”Mother was of House Hyrm, their only living true born heir. Her match with Father on the surface was a perfect match; they both had Crests and came from powerful and influential families in the Empire. But Mother...” Ferdinand shook his head. “Mother had a frail disposition. She became sick easily even with the slightest weather changes. Her body was not very strong, and as such she did not leave the Hyrm estate often. She did not even attend the Officer’s Academy because of her poor health. So sickly was she that it was thought that she was not capable of having children. Her parents—my maternal grandparents—knew this but deliberately hid her health from House Aegir because they knew that my paternal grandparents would call off their engagement if they knew their heir was engaged to someone who could potentially not bear children. Father was not aware of Mother’s sickly condition until they met for the first time on their wedding day.

”Father held it against Mother that he was forced to marry her under false pretenses. It was not Mother’s fault; she did not know that her parents deceived House Aegir in such way. But Father treated her so...poorly because of it. He never struck her but he used violent words with her and never showed her an ounce of affection. They were able to conceive me though, and by the grace of the Goddess I was born with a Crest. But Mother’s health never fully recovered from childbirth, making future legitimate children of House Aegir impossible. Father never forgave her for it.” He rubbed at forehead and looked to his right across the meadow. ”Mother...her poor body finally gave out and she died when I was five years old. I remember her in her last days; she was so weak that it seemed to take all of the energy in her body just to breathe. I remember laying beside her in bed, holding her hand and singing hymns to her.” Ferdinand quickly shook his head again, and he sighed shakily. Marianne inhaled sharply when she saw tears forming in his eyes. “I...I would like to stop talking about this because the pain is becoming unbearable. You do not mind, do you?”

Marianne shook her head, but realized that since he was facing away from her that he could not see the motion. “I don’t mind if you talk about something else.”

“Thank you.” Ferdinand quickly blinked away the tears. “As you could guess by my age, the year of her death was also the same year House Hrym tried to defect to the Leicester Alliance. House Hrym’s efforts were for naught, and the entire House was extinguished. I had wondered sometimes, with how my father participated in the destruction of House Hyrm and ultimately his tyrannical rule over Hrym territory, that he thought he was enacting revenge on House Hrym for entrapping him in a marriage that he did not want? I do not know and I never had the courage to ask Father why he imposed his authority so harshly on those poor people.”

Ferdinand looked at her then. “It is fascinating though, how much he looked out for his own self-interest, that he also worked so hard to make sure that _I_ was happy. For example, I was engaged to Bernadetta at one point when we were children, but I had heard many...unflattering rumors about her. I believed in those rumors and begged Father to break off the engagement. Even though a marriage to House Varley would have been advantageous for House Aegir, Father immediately broke off our engagement after I asked him to. Perhaps he did not want to subject me to a marriage that I did not want because _he_ had suffered the same fate, but...” he sighed shortly. “I cannot deny that I loved him, but he was everything that I hated about the nobility of the Adrestian Empire. I actually modeled my potential political career to be the antithesis of him.”

Marianne nodded. She kept silent because she didn’t know how to make him feel better.

“Did you know that I have brothers and sisters?” Ferdinand asked suddenly.

”Eh?” Marianne blinked with surprise. _B...But did he not say that his mother never recovered from giving birth to him?_

”Father had many lovers,” Ferdinand clarified and Marianne flushed. “Before and after Mother died. With various women of different stations throughout the Empire. Some of them bore him children. Father never acknowledged the children his mistress’s bore him because none of them have Crests. I am the only one of his children who has a Crest. I am however aware of the existence of four half-sisters and two half-brothers. I may have many more, but I have never met any of them and I do not like thinking about it. Father’s philandering was well-known in political circles, and behind Father’s back when I was younger other nobles used to humiliate me by asking me which “harlot” I was birthed from. It became so bothersome that I began introducing myself as _“I am Ferdinand von Aegir, legitimate son of House Aegir”_ so that people would realize that I _was_ in fact Father’s son born of his marriage.”

”I am sorry...that you unfairly judged like that,” Marianne said softly. _I know what it feels like to be judged for something that is not entirely my fault,_ she added silently.

Ferdinand smiled at her. “It means a lot to me to hear you say that. Thank you.”

Marianne stared back at him and swallowed hard. _H...He has opened up to me. S-Should I open up to him? Should I tell him about my Crest, and...my prayers? I have told Professor Byleth, but..._

”Have I told you why I left the Black Eagles?” Ferdinand’s words cut through her thoughts. Marianne blinked and noticed that he was looking towards the flower bed again. “Ah...I believe you told me that you wanted to carve your own path,” she said.

Ferdinand slowly shook his head. “If only it were as noble a reason as that. The sad truth was...I ran away.”

”You...what?” Marianne asked in confusion.

“A week or so after the Battle of the Eagle and Lion, I received a letter from my father. I hesitated in reading it, because I knew that he would be disappointed at my House’s defeat. However, I knew that I could not delay the inevitable, so I opened that letter.” Ferdinand frowned deeply, and Marianne saw tears forming in his eyes again. Marianne wanted to ask him what was in the letter, but she did not want to push him unnecessarily. So she sat...and waited.

”The letter,” Ferdinand said finally, his tone quiet. “Was a mistake.”

Marianne started slightly, but remained silent as Ferdinand spoke. “My father made an extremely careless mistake. The letter, you see, was not supposed to have been sent to me. My name was on the envelope, but the letterhead...the letterhead was addressed to Marquis Vestra.”

_Vestra...doesn’t Hubert belong to House Vestra?_

”I could almost find some amusement at the thought of Marquis Vestra receiving a scathing letter of admonishment from my father that was meant to be for me, but...the letter. The letter I received. The contents were so.... _abhorrent_. I read it repeatedly in such a short period of time, and when I realized the scope of the contents of the letter I burned it. Father, he...” Ferdinand’s breath hitched slightly. “He had become complacent. Comfortable in the position he held that he just so casually discussed something so awful on parchment. H...” he glanced at Marianne. “Do you know of the Insurrection of the Seven?”

Marianne shook her head. “I am not surprised. I myself was not aware of what this was until I read that letter. The Insurrection of the Seven was a political conspiracy on a grand scale. Several noble houses of the Adrestian Empire, led by my father, wrestled power away from Edelgard’s father, the Emperor Ionius IX. Father, he—he was _boastful_ in his letter about the power and influence he held, but he was concerned about Edelgard. He—” A soft strangled noise rumbled in his throat. Unable to help herself, Marianne reached out and awkwardly stroked his arm. The meager gesture embarrassed her, but she was reassured when she felt him relax slightly. “He did something...awfulto Edelgard,” Ferdinand continued. “I could not glean any details from the letter, and even now I do not know what it was he participated in against her. But he...the things he wrote in the letter, he...” tears leaked down his cheeks and he quickly wiped them away with his hand. Marianne quickly reached into her pocket and offered him her handkerchief. He accepted it without saying anything about it. “All that I know is that Edelgard had ten siblings. They are all gone now, dead. And my father shared in responsibility for their deaths.”

Marianne gasped sharply, and curled her free hand against her heart. Ferdinand continued, wiping his face awkwardly with the handkerchief. “I fancied myself as a rival to Edelgard. But after reading that letter, I...I could not look her in the eye anymore. I was so ashamed of the crimes my family committed against hers that I could not stand to be in the same room as her. I did not know what to do about the situation. Looking in hindsight, I began to realize that Edelgard and Hubert knew the full scope of the actions Hubert and mine’s fathers had committed against the royal family. I sensed that Edelgard did not hold me responsible for the Insurrection, but she did not look upon me with respect. Hubert not only did not look upon me with respect, but he also held me with contempt. I—I did not and do not know if they knew of my ignorance of the Insurrection, and what happened to Edelgard’s brothers and sisters. But they obviously did not trust me, as they withheld the truth about this from me. As they withheld their plans for war from me.”

His voice was low now, almost bitter. “As I said, I burned Father’s letter in the heat of panic. However in doing so I destroyed critical evidence of what my father did. I-I do not know what would have happened had I given that letter to Edelgard. Or Teacher. I do not believe it would have stalled the war. Perhaps Father would have been killed sooner rather than later. But overall I did not know how to deal with the information that I now knew. So, instead of confronting Father or confronting Edelgard, I...” he shrugged stiffly. “I ran away. I left the Black Eagles and joined the Blue Lions because I felt that was a safe option for me. Everything that I have suffered—everything that my family has suffered—has been well-earned. I feel that had I stayed in the Black Eagles I may have chosen Edelgard over my father, but I would have undoubtedly died in the service of the Empire. I probably would have fallen in battle at Gronder Field, o-or even the Great Bridge of Myrddin. I would be dead...and perhaps it would be what I deserved.

”However, I cannot help but feel selfish. I cannot help but feel angry with how my family was cast aside. With how my father died, and the hardships I faced over the last five years. I...” He closed his eyes and hid his face with the handkerchief. “Perhaps my life over the last five years has in fact been a blessing, because I have seen firsthand the atrocities of war on common people who never asked to be involved in this conflict. Had I stayed with the Black Eagles, I would have surely been ignorant of the toll of the war on the citizens of the Empire, Kingdom, and Alliance. Perhaps that is why I feel the way that I do. Father needed to pay for everything that he did, but I— _I_ am the one who has truly been paying for it. Because I gave in to cowardice instead of facing everything that happened, I am alive. But...”

Marianne felt tears sting her eyes and she withdrew her hand. _What can I do? How can I quell his pain? Should I hug him? O-Or say encouraging words? I...How can I help him? He is in pain, but all I can do is relate to the pain he’s feeling because of the pain I feel!_

She stiffened then. _Pain. If I share my pain with him, will that help alleviate his pain?_ She nodded to herself. _It may...It may make him furious, but I don’t know what else to do. I trusted the Professor with my secrets. I know I can trust Ferdinand as well._

”I have the Crest of the Beast.”

Ferdinand shifted beside her, and Marianne looked down at her lap. “I-It is considered a cursed Crest. As such every misfortune that occurred in Edmund territory was blamed on me. My adopted father believed this all to be nonsense, and he did everything he could to stop these rumors, but many people thought... _think_ that I’m a monster. They believed my adoption into House Edmund cursed the House and cursed the territory.”

”The mission,” Ferdinand said softly. Marianne felt his eyes on her. “The one where Teacher took a group of us to help you fight the Wandering Beast. The Heroes Relic Blutgang...this was all linked to this curse that people believe that you have? People thought that the atrocities committed by that monster were committed by you?”

Marianne nodded again, and she closed her eyes as she felt tears sting. “So...I understand how you feel when you feel judged for the wrongdoings of others. Because of my Crest, I lost my parents. Because of my Crest, many people think the worst of me. Because of my Crest, I...” a hard lump formed in her throat and she swallowed painfully. “I—I used to pray to the Goddess to end my life.”

She blurted it out quickly, and gasped hard after the words were uttered. She didn’t hear Ferdinand’s reaction to her, and she kept her eyes closed so that she couldn’t look upon him. “I...thought,” she whispered after a long moment of silence. “That my death would ease the burdens of others. I thought that the lives of others meant more than mine, so I would p-pray for my death. But...But I no longer think that. I no longer ask the Goddess for something like this. I have learned from my friends, from the Professor, from you, that my life can have meaning. I-I still have to find that meaning, but I’m determined to find my purpose.” She felt heat on her face as she realized that she wasn’t articulating herself properly. Ferdinand had opened up to her completely about his past and his motives, and now instead of sharing in his pain she was overshadowing him and monopolizing the conversation. She shook her head hard, tears slipping out. “I-I’m sorry. I have told you something inappropriate when you are in such great pain. Please don’t pay atten—”

“Marianne,” Ferdinand interrupted her quietly. His tone was gentle and not angry, and she took comfort in that. She opened her eyes and more tears spilled out. Ferdinand held out a handkerchief to her. “Do not worry, it is clean.”

”T...Thank you.” Marianne accepted it and wiped her face.

”I want to thank you for sharing that with me,” he said softly. “I knew that telling me that had to be both difficult and painful for you, and I am honored that you found me worthy to share this part of yourself with me.”

Marianne shook her head. “Y-You shared more—”

”Shh.” Ferdinand cupped her chin and turned her head towards him. She was embarrassed because her face was red and puffy from crying, but though his eyes were swollen from crying his expression was comforting. “You need to know how thankful I am, Marianne. I have been so preoccupied with my grief and guilt over everything that has happened to me that I have forgotten the blessings that I do have, and that I am not the only person in pain. Thank you for listening to me and sharing with me. Everything that I have told you has been a burden I have carried for years, and I feel a terrible guilt for unloading this burden onto you when you have so many burdens of your own. But I am immensely grateful that you listened to me without judgment. I...did not know how much I needed to talk to someone about this until I spoke to you. I hope that I have not increased your burdens by giving you mine.”

Marianne shook her head. Her heart ached, but hearing his story had not felt like a burden to her. She oddly felt... _freer_ that she was able to ease his emotional distress. And she felt a great weight lifted off herself after disclosing her secrets to him. “I-I feel that you’ve given me too much credit, but I am glad that you are feeling better. A-And I don’t see helping you as a burden. I hope though...that I have not overwhelmed your with my burdens.”

Ferdinand smiled, and his eyes shined in such a way that Marianne felt her heart skip a beat. “It is not a burden to help you. It is a fulfillment.”

Marianne stared back at him, her mouth hanging open. In an instant she felt a wonderful warmth fill her body as her heart beat faster. Ferdinand looked away at that moment, which she was grateful for because she was certain her face had turned red.

 _W...What is happening? What is this feeling? I have never felt anything like this before. I...Oh._ She gasped quietly and ducked her head under his hand. _Dear Goddess. Is this—is this love? The worry I’ve felt for him. The desire to help him and share in his pain. He...Oh, Goddess. I love him? Have I fallen in love?_

” _Dara_!” Ferdinand called out, his shout startling Marianne as he jumped to his feet. “Why have you wandered so far away?!”

Marianne looked up and saw Dorte was in the spot she had left him at the river, but Dara was almost a kilometer away happily snacking on a bed of lavender. “I will be right back, Marianne.”

”Mm,” Marianne said quietly. Ferdinand thankfully did not notice her reaction as he ran after his horse.

_D...Do I love him? He has helped me so much and has shared so much with me. But love is something painful to me. Oh...I am so confused!_

They decided to return to the Monastery after Ferdinand got Dara back, but Marianne’s emotions were wound tight. _I-Is this truly love? Does it happen this abruptly? B-But I’ve been worried about him for five years and I prayed for him. But I a-also prayed for all of my other friends!_

_...But I don’t remember anyone ever making me feel this way._

When they got back to the Stables Ferdinand helped her down from Dorte again. Because of her new conflicting emotions she did not pull her foot free all of the way and ended up falling into his arms. Ferdinand thankfully did not topple over and stood strong as he set her on her feet. “Are you all right? Did you twist your ankle?”

”I-I’m all right, thank you.” She averted her eyes though because she was embarrassed about falling, but she was also embarrassed about how it felt to have his arms around her. They were strong and sturdy, and for a brief moment she felt absolutely safe.

”Marianne?” Ferdinand asked. His tone seemed uncertain and she glanced up at him. His expression was also uncertain. “Y-Yes?”

”I...” he allowed his voice to trail off and then he looked away. Marianne stared back at him in confusion. Then she realized that they were still standing quite close together, and Ferdinand had his arms around her partially still. He didn’t finish, and Marianne’s worry grew. “I...Are you all right?”

”I have not eaten a proper meal in days,” Ferdinand said suddenly, looking back at her. “I was thinking of going to get a meal at the Dining Hall. Would you like to join me?” 

Marianne quickly nodded in relief. _I see. He was embarrassed about inviting me out for a meal._

Ferdinand smiled. “Then that is settled. We can go after we take care of our horses.”

It was painful for Marianne to sit with Ferdinand at his lowest, but it was uplifting to sit with him at his highest. The food they ate was good, and he had more energy and enthusiasm for their conversation. Marianne sat and listened, pleased at seeing his more jovial attitude. She did not know how or why his demeanor improved so quickly after grieving for days, and while she didn’t truly believe that she was responsible for it she knew that she had to believe it because he had told her he was responsible.

 _I had wanted to help him so much. It hurt to see him in pain, and now I’m just so happy to see him better. Maybe...Maybe I feel this way because I_ do _love him._

Ferdinand surprised everyone the following morning by showing up to the War Table. Byleth and Dimitri spoke with him briefly and he reassured them that he was all right. Then the former Black Eagles each got up to speak to him and he showed them his usual enthusiasm. All them, including Dorothea Arnault, looked greatly relieved.

He did not say anything to Marianne, but when he walked past her chair he casually set something onto the table in front of her. She quickly saw that it was her handkerchief that was folded vertically and she picked it up. Before she tucked it into her pocket though she felt that her handkerchief was wrapped around something. When she noticed that everyone was distracted by Dimitri and Byleth, she unwrapped the handkerchief to see what was hidden. She gasped softly when she saw three lily of the valley inside.

 _He must have gotten these from the meadow yesterday. I don’t remember seeing him linger near the flower bed._ She closed her eyes and hugged the handkerchief and flowers to her chest. The warmth had returned to her heart. _...Yes. Yes, I understand now. This is love. I do love him. But what do I do about this? Oh, I wish Hilda was still here! She would most definitely know what to do!_

Marianne opened her eyes and looked down at the handkerchief. _He cleaned my handkerchief and returned it to me. I must do the same for him._

* * *

_29th of the Verdant Rain Moon_

Marianne sat in her desk chair as she checked Blutgang for the umpteenth time. She had yet to use her Heroes Relic in battle, and she didn’t relish using it tomorrow. Thankfully, even as a Holy Knight Professor Byleth had relied on her more heavily as a healer than a warrior so she hadn’t _needed_ to use Blutgang in battle. It was good because it meant she hadn’t needed to look for Umbral Steel, or kill a Demonic Beast, to repair it. She nodded her satisfaction and propped the sword against the wall between her desk and dresser. She looked across her bedroom and sighed softly. _I’m ready. My sword is in perfect condition. My armor is in perfect condition. Dorte is healthy and ready to ride. By the grace of the Goddess this awful war will finally end tomorrow._

She looked towards her desk. She had moved her stuffed teddy to the second chair in the room so that she didn’t risk dirtying it with the slice of chocolate cake. She had helped the kitchen staff with baking cakes with the new confectionery the night before, so she was given a sample slice of cake as a thank-you. The Head Chef had almost given her an _entire cake_ , but Marianne had asked them not to waste so much cake on her. 

_After all, I don’t think I could eat an entire cake myself._

She sat down and began eating the cake again. It was absolutely delicious but her stomach knotted painfully. She realized though after she had started eating her slice that she should have accepted the Head Chef’s offer for an entire cake. She could have shared the cake with her friends. Now she sat alone in her room, eating her cake in solitude while everyone else ran around settling their affairs.

_He has not settled his affairs._

Marianne paused, and set her spoon down. Ferdinand had spent almost the entire month in his room. She was aware that Lorenz Hellman Gloucester had done the same, but because of the feelings she felt she was naturally more worried about Ferdinand. He had only come out for War Table meetings, and for the assignment the Professor took the former Black Eagles on the day before. Marianne had heard that the assignment was difficult for the Black Eagles but she was relieved that they all came back without injuries. While the assignment had seemed to be a good distraction for the Black Eagles, Ferdinand still retreated to his room and did not come out.

_”I hope you will learn to like yourself. For what it is worth, I like you.”_

Marianne blushed at the memory but she couldn’t help but smile. Both Ferdinand and the Professor inspired her to feel good about herself. And after talking with Ferdinand she had been inspired to smile and laugh. It was easy though to feel these things when she was around Ferdinand because she loved him. She hadn’t told him of course how she felt. Despite the fact that Ferdinand had told her that he liked her, she knew that it was just friendliness and not romantic feelings. She didn’t want to make their friendship awkward by imposing her feelings upon him.

But...

_But he is once again in a bad place. I want to help him like I helped him before, but I’m afraid that I would expose my feelings for him. If I did, it would make everything worse, and I will make him feel worse by putting him in the position to reject me. But I want to help. How should I help him?_

_“Maybe, if you have the time, you can cook something for me again? For me alone, I mean.”_

Marianne stiffened, and she quickly stood up as she flushed with shame. “Of course!” She could cook for him! He had wanted her to cook a meal for him only, and she could do that now! Oh, how foolish she was to forget about his request!

_I will go and cook his favorite meal. Pheasant Roast and Berry Sauce, as he told Professor Byleth that one time she invited us both to eat with her. And if they have any chocolate cake left, I will ask for a slice for him. He loves sweets as well!_

Marianne gathered up her now empty plate and paused. _Wait. Ferdinand will need a beverage to have with his dinner and dessert. I should bring him tea! But, I don’t want to impose on the kitchen staff by having them make the tea for me..._

She sat back down and dug through her drawers. She had bags of tea leaves of her favorite flavors; Dagda Fruit Blend, Lavender Blend, and Cinnamon Blend. But she also knew that Ferdinand did _not_ like these flavors so she did not want to use them.

 _I know I must have—here it is!_ She couldn’t help but laugh when she found a bag of Ferdinand’s favorite tea; Seiros Tea. She had purchased it for him as a birthday present, but his birthday had unfortunately fell upon the 30th of the Great Tree Moon—when they battled at Gronder Field. Ferdinand had insisted on _not_ celebrating his birthday, and Byleth had to literally drag him off to have tea with him early in the morning before they departed. Then with everything that had occurred afterwards—the death of Rodrigue Fraldarius, and the restoration of Dimitri’s sanity—Ferdinand brushed off any further birthday congratulations and had politely refused any birthday presents offered to him. Marianne had not wanted to receive that rejection, and so she did not offer the tea leaves to him then.

_But I can make him the tea now. Only—oh, I do not know how he likes his tea! If I make it, he may not like it! And, what if he would prefer to drink another tea with dinner tonight?_

She looked up and saw the three wicker baskets that she had on her windowsill. She checked her wallet and saw that she had a generous amount of gold. She smiled and stood. _I think I know what to do._

* * *

Marianne first dropped off her empty plate at the Dining Hall and asked the Head Chef if she could borrow the kitchen. She was absolutely amazed by the long line of people waiting to have cake. She was told to come back in fifteen minutes as the kitchen was not free. She _was_ however able to reserve another slice of cake, and impulsively requested the topping of Albean berries. After she left the Dining Hall and headed towards the Marketplace however, she felt foolish for requesting the topping.

 _His pheasant dinner also has Albean berries as a topping. Now I’m afraid that I will make his dinner and dessert unappetizing for him._ But she was too embarrassed to go back and ask for a slice of plain cake, and risk having food go to waste. So she let it be and hope for the best. 

The Eastern Merchant had Tea Leaves that Ferdinand liked, so Marianne purchased the bag. When she mentioned it was a gift the Merchant offered to wrap it for her, and her bag of Seiros Tea. Marianne accepted, and then saw that the Western Merchant was selling Riding Boots. They looked like the same size and style Ferdinand wore, but she remembered the shape his boots had been before. One again on impulse she hurried over and purchased the Riding Boots, accepting his offer to wrap the presents. As she went back the Eastern Merchant, she saw that he was selling a Whetstone. _Oh. Ferdinand likes Whetstones, doesn’t he? And—oh, he also has Black-Sand Steel! I think I saw Dimitri go to the blacksmith to enhance a Killer Lance with this. Ferdinand also wields the Killer Lance, s-so this should make his weapon even stronger!_

By the time the Eastern and Western Merchant finished wrapping her gifts, Marianne’s wallet was completely empty. She flushed as she headed back towards the Dining Hall, looking down at her wicker basket in embarrassment. _I have never spent so much money before. I had only intended on buying him the Tea Leaves, but now I have **five** presents in this basket for Ferdinand! And that is not including the food I will be bringing to him! _

“Marianne!”

Marianne jumped and stopped in her tracks as she saw Raphael Kirsten running towards her. With the way he swung his arms as he ran, he almost looked like her was charging onto the battlefield. “Hey! Did you hear that I became a knight?!”

”O-Oh, congratulations,” Marianne said, bowing slightly. “How can I help you?”

”I was wondering if you wanted cake! I was looking for Hapi as well because I think it’s _awesome_!” He emphasized the word with a shout. “That I’m friends with two people who know how to understand different creatures!”

Marianne remembered Hapi’s ability to summon monsters just by sighing and felt wary. “Ah...I appreciate your offer, but I must apologize. I have already eaten cake—”

”Oh, me too! I ate cake with Ignatz earlier, but then he started acting weird and ran off when we saw Petra!” He shook his head in confusion. “I’m pretty neutral about sweets, but the cake was good and I definitely want more!”

”I see,” Marianne said. She felt good to be included like this by Raphael, but she knew that her evening was already very busy. “Again, thank you for the offer but I’m afraid I cannot join you. I’m going to the Dining Hall to cook a meal and then I have to go somewhere.” She smiled at him. “B-But I hope you have a good ti—”

”A smile!” Raphael shouted, startling a group of people who walked past them. He suddenly picked her up and crushed her in his arms in a tight hug. “You _smiled,_ Marianne! That’s incredible! You’re laughing and smiling more!”

”Y-Yes,” Marianne said, struggling to hang onto her wicker basket. “Thank you, Raphael. And I’m so—”

”No, don’t apologize! Seeing you smile was enough for me!” He set her down and grinned at her. “I gotta go get back into the cake line though! Have a good night!”

”You, too.” 

“Oh! And if you see Hapi, tell her I’m looking for her!” He turned and barreled in the direction of the Entrance Hall. Marianne watched him leave before a laugh coughed out of her throat and she covered her mouth. _I’m glad that I have such a good friend. And I’m glad I know now how to appreciate my friends..._

Cooking Ferdinand’s dinner took very little time, and she was pleased with the outcome. Seeing the pheasant topped with Albean berries, and the cake topped with Albean berries, her worry began to surface once more. _I hope that he’s not irritated to have so much Albean berries..._ She picked up the parchment paper that she was given to cover the plates, and looked towards her basket. _Okay. If I set these plates on top of the gifts and not jostle the basket too much, then I should be able to deliver everything to him intact._

“Good evening, Marianne.”

She heard Ashe Ubert’s voice to her right and she reflexively smiled, but her focus was on covering Ferdinand’s dinner and so she didn’t look up. “Good evening.”

She heard Ashe walk away from her and moments later heard Annette Fantine Dominic talking to the Head Chef. Marianne glanced up briefly to see Ashe and Annette standing together in front of the Head Chef. _Ah. They’re both getting cake. I’m happy for them._ She finished wrapping both plates and slowly and carefully set them on top of the wrapped presents inside her wicker basket. Then she quickly slammed the lid over it. _There. It’s done. Whether he likes or hates this, I won’t know until I deliver these gifts to him..._

* * *

She had the gifts. She needed to deliver them to Ferdinand. Especially since she was certain that the pheasant dinner was getting cold. Unfortunately, instead of knocking on the door in front of her she fidgeted in the hallway. Ferdinand did not know that she was out there. She paced while she tried to gather her courage. She walked away to head back to her room, only to return to the door again. She entered the corridor to Ferdinand’s door wit her hand raised, only to duck back out into the hallway again.

_Oh, I’m so foolish! I must deliver these gifts to him, but I don’t know if he will be delighted or disturbed by me! I purchased so many items for him, when we are nothing more than close friends! When this is not his birthday or a holiday! I love him, but he only likes me! He has helped me so much, and I want to help him in return, but I..._

“Marianne!”

Marianne flinched when she heard someone shout her name. She turned and smiled when she saw Leonie Pinelli running towards her. “G-Good evening, Leonie.”

Talking to Leonie was always easy, because she was naturally energetic and nurturing in their conversations. Marianne was nonetheless embarrassed to be caught like this hesitating in front of Ferdinand's door. Ferdinand thankfully did not seem to hear them while they talked in the hallway. Or did not seem to hear them because he did not come out of his door.

_I want to help make him feel better. But I’m concerned about offending or overwhelming him with the number of presents I got for him._

It was easy to admit this though to Leonie, and though Leonie was very surprised by her doing something so...out of character, she also seemed thrilled by the fact that Marianne was checking in on Ferdinand like this.

Marianne was still surprised though when Leonie quickly rushed forward and knocked on Ferdinand’s door for Marianne. “Oh!” Marianne said quietly, jumping slightly as panic quickly settled over her. She further panicked when Leonie ran past her down the hallway. “He’ll love them. He will be very, very happy to get these presents.”

Marianne stammered as Leonie raced up the stairs, almost calling out to her to come back. Then for a split moment she wondered why Leonie was even heading in that direction. But then the door opened in front of her, further startling her. “Oh, Marianne! I am very happy to see you!”

Marianne immediately smiled when she saw Ferdinand, even though she was certain her whole face was red from embarrassment. Ferdinand came out of his room and joined her in the hallway. He was smiling back at her, which she took as a good sign. “You came all the way here to see me, yes?”

”Yes, I did,” Marianne responded quietly, nodding.

”You are so thoughtful to think of me. Please, come inside!” He waved to her and directed her to enter the room first. Marianne complied, and saw his armor hanging up and shining in the candlelight. His Ochain Shield was resting on top of the book pile on his windowsill. There were tools on his desk, but Ferdinand quickly gathered them and set them on the floor in front of the windowsill. “Please, excuse the mess. I am completely unorganized today. I was about to start a pot of tea, would you like some?”

”Y-Yes!” Marianne said with a little too much haste. Ferdinand quickly glanced at her then and she flushed as she turned to face his desk. “Ah...I...” she set her wicker basket on his desk and swallowed hard. _Please don’t be upset with me. Please don’t be angry with me!_

”Forgive my intrusion,” Ferdinand said, his tone dropping to a softer one. “May I ask what you have brought here this evening?”

Her face got hotter and she slammed her eyes shut. It was time. She was here, and she needed to face him with the gifts she was offering him. _If he accepts them—and me—I will be happy. If he rejects them—and me—then I will be sad. But there is not turning back now._

”I...” she reluctantly took the lid off the basket and sighed in relief when saw the plates of food intact inside the basket. She propped the lid on the floor against the desk. “I was concerned...that you had not eaten.” She grabbed a plate and new that it had the cake on it. “I was able to get a slice of cake for you.” She set it on top of the desk. “B-But I know eating sweets alone isn’t healthy, so I made you some pheasant dinner.” She quickly set this plate down beside the cake. “I-I am sorry. Both are topped with Albean berries, so I know that the meal seems redundant a-and lacking in variety, but I hope you find it enjoyable. And—oh!” She grabbed both of the wrapped bags of tea. “I know how much you love Seiros Tea so I brought that, but I also got the Tea Leaves from the Eastern Merchant in case you wanted to drink something else. Y-You can use one of these for the tea you want to make.” She turned around and shoved both bags into Ferdinand’s arms without fully turning around to face him.

”I-I...” Marianne’s face got hotter as she picked up the largest gift from the basket. “I had also...noticed that your Riding Boots were in poor condition, so I got you another pair. B-But I know that this is foolish because you probably shouldn’t wear a brand new pair of boots before riding into battle, but...” she ran out of words to say, and awkwardly set the wrapped Riding Boots on the desk chair without turning around. “A-And I...IgotyouaWhetstone,” she quickly blurted out. She pulled it out and showed it to Ferdinand over her shoulder before setting it on the chair on top of the boots, still without looking at him. Ferdinand’s silence increased her embarrassment and tears stung her eyes as she scrambled to pull out her final gift. “A-A-And I was able to get some Black-Sand Steel. I know that you can use this to increase the quality of your Killer Lance, so—”

Marianne’s words cut off and she gasped as arms wrapped around her shoulders from behind. She dropped the Black-Sand Steel back into the wicker basket as she felt Ferdinand rest his forehead against the back of her shoulder. The fact that Ferdinand had hugged her so suddenly made her feel faint, and her heart began racing. She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and swallowed again as she struggled to speak. “I...”

”I love you.” 

Marianne stiffened, and her heart nearly burst out of her chest at hearing Ferdinand breathe those three words out in a soft whisper. She turned her head to look at him, but she couldn’t see his face. “W...What did you say?” she asked quietly.

”I love you, Marianne von Edmund.” He squeezed her shoulders gently, but Marianne was certain she had forgotten how to breathe. “I would understand if you do not feel the same way, but I cannot fight my feelings for you anymore. I am deeply, most passionately in love with you. You are one of the sweetest, most generous women I have ever met. Just by being in your presence, hearing your laugh and seeing your smile, I am filled with unbelievable happiness. When I see you sad, I want nothing more than to shower you with affection. I have felt strongly for you for awhile, and the feelings at first frightened me. But when I see you try so hard to find meaning in life...and how you in turn have tried to help me find meaning. That you have taken time out of your day, today of all days when you are undoubtedly busy yourself, to come and see me and help me feel better, I feel more secure in my love for you. And I feel strongly that I want to spend my life with you.”

Marianne burst into tears, and quickly covered her face with both hands. Ferdinand gasped, and quickly let her go. “O-Oh no! Marianne, please do not cry!” He didn’t touch her again, but she felt his hands hovering close. “Oh, please do not cry! I did not mean to impose my feelings upon you like this!” Ferdinand himself sounded like he was on the verge of tears. For a moment though, Marianne’s sobs were uncontrollable and her thoughts raced through her mind. _He—He is in love with me! He loves me back! When he said he like me, he **did** mean romantically!_

But she heard his pained and ragged breathing, and her stomach dropped as she realized that he thought that she was rejecting him. She scrubbed at her face and quickly turned around to face him. She couldn’t see Ferdinand's face through her tears but she wrapped her arms around his arms around his shoulders and embraced him tightly. “M...Marianne?” Ferdinand asked, his voice uncertain.

”Please forgive me.” Her face was pressed into his collar but she forced the words out of her mouth so that he could hear her. “I-I didn’t mean to—I didn’t think that it was possible that you could love me! I thought that our relationship would never be anything more than friendship! I-I am so uninteresting and I have h-h-h... _hated_ myself for so long! I was f-filled with such ugly feelings and thoughts but you—you taught me how to find my purpose! You taught me how to be happy and how to _stay_ happy! I actually l...love myself now because of you.” She pulled away from him very slightly but her head ducked down. “Y-You’re not imposing your feeling upon me. I...”

_Say it! Say it now, Marianne!_

Marianne swallowed audibly and wiped at her face with her sleeve. “I...I love you, too.”

Ferdinand grabbed her chin, and her head was lifted up. His eyes were wide, and she saw tears on his cheeks, but there was a desperation in his expression that startled her. “Say it again,” he said. “Please, tell me that you love me again!”

Marianne gaped at him and flushed again. “I...” she looked away briefly, but gathered the courage to look back at him again. “I love you.”

Ferdinand stared at her for a moment in silence. Then his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Marianne cried out and caught him, and his superior weight nearly caused her to topple to the floor. “F-Ferdinand!” She gasped, hugging him tight under his arms. “P-Please hang in there, I can heal—”

Ferdinand recovered slightly, resting his head on her shoulders and holding her around the waist. “I...am okay,” he said faintly. “I just—it suddenly sounded like a thousand bells were ringing inside my head. That and the intense joy I suddenly felt made me feel faint. I apologize for startling you like that. How very foolish for a man of my station to swoon like that.”

”Here,” Marianne said, guiding him to his bed. “You should rest for a little while. I’ll get a wet cloth for you. A-And don’t worry, I don’t find you foolish at all.” She helped him to lie down on top of his covers. She saw the pot of water but didn’t have anything to use as a wet cloth. She flushed as the remembered and reached into your pocket. “I’m sorry. I brought back your handkerchief, but would you mind if I used it for...?”

”I do not mind at all,” Ferdinand said. His tone was breathless and his eyes were closed.

Marianne poured only a little bit of water on the handkerchief. It became sufficiently wet and didn’t need to be rung out. She kneeled at his bedside and carefully draped the handkerchief over his eyes. “There. Just rest and relax. Concentrate on your breathing.”

Ferdinand complied without saying a word. After a few moments she wondered if he had fallen asleep, but she felt embarrassed to ask him. She pressed a hand over her heart as she looked down at him. _I...Is this real? We have confessed feelings of love for each other. And Ferdinand was so happy that he fainted! Oh...I’m concerned for him but I’m so happy at the same time!_

She looked him over and noticed that he was still wearing his armored boots. She moved down and carefully untied the cuisses and greaves from both legs. She was able to pull one off, and was about to pull off the other when she felt Ferdinand grab her arm. “I-I’m sorry,” Marianne said, turning to face him. “I was h-hoping to make you comf—”

”It is not that,” Ferdinand said, shaking his head slightly. The wet handkerchief still covered his eyes. “I must...I would like to kiss you, Marianne.” 

Marianne immediately blushed, and stammered softly. Ferdinand’s hand slid down her arm to take her hand. “Forgive me. I know that this unbecoming behavior of a nobleman to ask of a woman. It is just that...I have been overcome with a powerful desire to kiss you. May I kiss you, Marianne?”

”I-I...” Marianne looked away briefly before looking back at him. “I-I have never kissed anyone before,” she confessed quietly.

Ferdinand smiled, and squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Do not be afraid. I will not boast and say that I am a skilled man, but I do know how to kiss. I have never wanted to kiss anyone as strongly as I do with you now.”

Marianne let out a soft breath. Emotional and physical intimacy were unknown to her, and she knew that kissing was more than just lips pressing together. She looked down at his mouth, and the smile he was wearing, and she licked her own lips involuntarily. “I...” she finally nodded, though Ferdinand couldn’t see the gesture. “I...would like to kiss you, too.”

Ferdinand’s smile deepened, and Marianne moved so that she was closer to his head. She closed her eyes as she leaned forward, and pressed a hand over his heart before she could stop herself. She almost pulled her hand away, but Ferdinand covered it with his free one. The gesture reassured her though, and she felt his head turn towards her and their lips met. His mouth was softer than she thought it would be, but her heart pounded at the contact. She pulled back slightly, breaking the contact briefly, but Ferdinand leaned up and claimed her lips again. They held for a long moment and when they parted she felt his mouth open against hers.

The way his mouth moved caused unexpected warm shivers to shake her body. She exhaled sharply through her nose from his slow, coaxing movements. When she returned the gestures, the shivers increased. She felt his other hand slide up her arm and cup her shoulder blade. As her mouth opened more against his, she felt his tongue moved against her. She resisted the urge to recoil and instead leaned in, and her hand curled against his chest when his tongue swept into her mouth.

The room seemed to fade away. Marianne couldn’t think beyond the coaxing kiss that deepened with each passing second. It felt so— _pleasant_ , so right. Ferdinand’s hand left hers and cupped her cheek, his mouth opening fully against hers. “Mmm!” She recoiled then at the involuntary noise that came from her own throat, but her nerves settled when she heard Ferdinand’s moan in reply. When the contact finally broke they were both gasping for breath and Marianne rested her head beside his on the pillow. She opened her eyes to look at him, but her eyes fell to his mouth. She wanted to kiss him again, to keep kissing him, but shook her head and hid her face. _I...I shouldn’t ask that._

”Are you all right?” Ferdinand asked her quietly. His gloved fingers were playing with the strands of blue hair at her nape.

”Y...Yes,” Marianne whispered. “I...enjoyed that.” She hid her face deeper into his pillow as she admitted that.

”I am pleased. I enjoyed that, too.” She heard him remove the wet handkerchief from his face. “Marianne, I...”

The way his voice trailed off caused Marianne to lift her head. She saw that Ferdinand was trying to sit up and she tried to stop him. “Wait—”

”I am much better now. But I must do this.” He pulled his own cuisses and greaves off his right leg before carefully standing. Marianne followed him as he walked to his desk. “The food looks delicious,” he complimented her. He gathered up the Riding Boots and Whetstone and handed them to Marianne. “Would you mind putting these on my windowsill?”

”O-Of course.” Marianne carried them to the windowsill and carefully set them down. When she turned around to face Ferdinand she saw that he was sitting at his desk and was rummaging through the small drawers on top of his desk. “Here,” he said, withdrawing his hand from the drawer. Marianne had approached him, but when she saw what he was holding she gasped loudly and covered her mouth.

It was a golden ring with a large green gemstone. Marianne’s heart pounded and her breathing quickened as she stared at that ring. _The—The gemstone is green. Engagement rings have green gemstones! D-Does this mean...?_

Ferdinand turned to face her, still holding up the ring. “My apologies. I do not trust myself to kneel. This is a green garnet, and an heirloom of House Aegir. This is unfortunately one of the only heirlooms that I have from my House. Father of course gave this ring to Mother, so I almost did not want to have it myself because of how unhappy their marriage was. But...” he ducked his head slightly. “But I had already decided to be the antithesis of my father. I would _not_ be the politician that he was. And I would _never_ degrade myself, my House, or my wife with an unhappy life and frivolous affairs. After my engagement to Bernadetta broke off, I made a vow to only marry for love, and to never take a lover besides my wife. Because of this, in my youth I was quite keen to fall in love. I had thought I had fallen in love. But I did not know what it truly meant to fall in love until I realized how much I loved you, Marianne.”

”R...Really?”

”I told you before that I wanted to spend my life with you. I meant it, Marianne.” He presented the ring to her. She saw both fear and hope in his eyes. “Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Marianne laughed, and reached out to hug him again. “Yes! O-Of course I will marry you! I don’t want anyone else!”

Ferdinand laughed, and squeezed her tight. “I swear to you that you will never be sorry for this. I will make you happy, and I will make any children we have happy!”

Marianne blushed again. ”Ah...are you okay if my Crest of the Beast passes on?”

”Only if you are okay if my Crest of Cichol passes on.”

Marianne couldn’t help but laugh again. “Perhaps our children then may be blessed to not have Crests at all.”

“That would not be so bad, either.”

This admission surprised Marianne, but then Ferdinand gently pushed her away to slide the ring on her finger. They both sighed with relief when it went on perfectly. When she looked up he leaned in again to kiss her. It was brief and chaste, but her heart was warm when he pulled away. _I’m so happy. I cannot believe how happy I am..._

”I apologize for not eating your meal right away,” Ferdinand said, looking at the food. “I am afraid that I allowed it to get cold. But I will be very happy to eat it all the same.”

”Let me make you tea,” Marianne said, standing up. She saw the bags of tea on the windowsill. “Which tea would you like?”

”This day turned out to be very much a blessing for me, so I would like the Seiros Tea.” He looked at her. “You should have brought some food for yourself, Marianne. That way we could eat together.”

”I am okay, the tea will be enough for me. I was going to head to bed early anyways.”

”I must head to bed early too, although I am afraid of going to sleep.”

Marianne looked at him over her shoulder. “You are? Why is that?”

Ferdinand smiled at her. “I do not want to wake up and think that this was a dream.”

Marianne smiled reflexively back at him, and his face brightened. “Thank you, Marianne.”

She shook her head at him. “No. It is I who owes you thanks.”

* * *

Marianne was startled awake by the sharp knock at her door. She curled up on her side as she came awake, and the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes was the ring Ferdinand had given her. She smiled when she saw it, and before she could stop herself she leaned forward and kissed the ring.

_Ferdinand gave this to me because he loves me. I love him too, and after this horrible war is over we will be married. Oh Goddess, do I deserve to feel so happy?_

The sharp knocking returned to her door, and the voice that followed startled her fully awake. “Hellooooo! Marianne, are you in there?”

Marianne gasped and threw back her blankets. She raced to her doors and threw one open, gaping at the smiling face on the other side. “H...Hilda?!”

”Long time so see,” Hilda Valentine Goneril greeted her positively with a small wave before launching forward to give her a hug. “Can I come in?”

”O-Of course!” Marianne motioned for her to come inside as and Hilda swept in as she released their hug. “I-I...” Marianne fidgeted as Hilda fully scrutinized her room and idly picked up the stuffed teddy from her desk. “W-What brings you here, Hilda? Is everything all right?”

”For me personally? The absolute best. Otherwise? Not quite.” Hilda snuggled the plush toy to her chest as she turned to face Marianne. “We have a big problem and need your help.”

”My...help?” Marianne asked. She clasped her hands to her chest. “What happened?”

”Claude’s gathering the Golden Deer alumni in the Greenhouse,” Hilda said. “We have to—AHHHH!” her voice suddenly broke off with a ear-piercing scream. She dropped the teddy and flailed her hands in front of her face as her eyes went wide. 

“W-W-W—” Marianne sputtered in terror, raising her hands in defense. Her door slammed open and she gasped when she saw Claude von Riegan rushing inside. “Hilda, what—”

Hilda lunged forward and grabbed her left hand, turning it over to show her ring. “A ring?! A RING! Marianne, you’re _engaged_!”

Marianne immediately blushed, and before she could react Claude grabbed her hand too. He laughed loudly after he looked at the ring. “That definitely looks like a Fódlan engagement ring! Congrats, Marianne!”

The doors to Marianne’s room burst open again as Hilda grabbed Marianne for another hug. Ingrid Brandi Galatea rushed into the room still in her pajamas, armed with her Heroes Relic Lúin. “Marianne are you— _Claude_?!” she shouted. She immediately relaxed her posture. “And Hilda too?! W-When did you guys get here?! What was with the screaming?!”

”Oh, Marianne’s engaged,” Claude said nonchalantly, holding Marianne’s hand up so that Ingrid could see her ring. Marianne blushed harder. “Um...I...”

”You’re engaged too, Marianne?” Ingrid gasped, pressing her free hand against her chest. “C-Congratulations!”

”T-Thank you,” Marianne said quietly, bowing slightly.

”Wait, ’ _too_ ’?!” Hilda exclaimed, looking at Ingrid. She laughed with delight. “You got engaged too, Ingrid?!”

Ingrid stiffened and turned bright red. Claude laughed as he let Marianne’s hand go. “Wow, that seems to be going around! Congrats to you too, Ingrid. I’ll send my condolences to your fiancé.”

” _Excuse_ _me_?!” Ingrid snapped, pointing Lúin at Claude’s grinning face. Hilda moved in a flash to insert herself between Claude and Ingrid, grabbing the tip of the lance in her hand. “Now, now, Ingrid. You’ll poke somebody’s eye out with this if you’re not too careful.”

Ingrid scoffed, but drew her weapon away from them. “I would ask why you two are here, but your business is clearly with Marianne and not me. I have to go get ready.” She looked towards Marianne. “Again, congratulations on your engagement.”

Marianne nodded. “C...Congratulations to you too, Ingrid.”

”I have to go find the others,” Claude said, looking between Hilda and Marianne. “I’ll be leaving Lorenz for last though. Sorry for bursting in without knocking, Marianne. I’ll see you both in a little bit.”

”Yes, you should get ready now,” Hilda said encouragingly after Claude left. “We need to leave as soon as our briefing is over.”

”Briefing?” Marianne stared at her in confusion. “W...What is going on?”

Hilda smiled at her. “You’re coming with us, of course. While the Professor and Dimitri march south...we’re going to march east.”

**Author's Note:**

> I named Ferdinand’s horse Dara loosely after his ancestor Derick. I also made his horse female because why not? Lol.


End file.
